Okay, you see this? Do you know what this is? It's called a squirrel.
Do you know what squirrels are? Squirrels are evil. They're almost as evil as cats! One day, I'm going to catch one and teach it a lesson it will never forget!
There are a number of reasons why squirrels are evil...
1. They chatter insults down at us from their trees. And when we dogs bark back up at them, they chatter more insults back down at us.
2. Every time my humans plant a garden, the squirrels eat the plants before they grow! It makes my humans angry. (Mind you, if the squirrels didn't eat the plants, I probably would instead...)
3. Squirrels have a way of making us dogs really angry. They let us chase them, but they always stay just out of reach. And then they climb up a tree, and start laughing and chattering insults back down at us, which leads us to reason number one again of why squirrels are evil.
Now guess what the squirrels are doing? They're throwing moss at me! We have this huge Maple tree covering our whole front yard, and the squirrels go up and peel off the moss and throw clumps of it down on the ground. They're either searching for bugs under the moss, or else they're trying to kill me by throwing the moss down at me! Okay, moss doesn't actually hurt that much when it falls, but it still angers me to see the squirrels doing this. There also seems to be a bunch of sticks on the ground, which my humans say fell out of the tree during windstorms, but I say the squirrels threw them down, too!
Look at this stick I found on the ground. It's huge!
Maybe by chewing up this big stick, the squirrels will get the message of what I'll do to them once I catch them!