POOP!

So, what is poop? Poop is digested food what comes out of our butts after eating a fairly large meal. Doesn't sound all that bad, does it? It's just food... Only a little browner... and squishier. I personally don't think poop is something to be scared of. My human, on the other hand, can easily get into a bit of a fit over dog poop. She says she loves dogs, so what's so bad about our poop? Hold on, I think my human wants to explain something...

Hey guys, Sparky's human Lizzy here. I just came back from one of the worst (no, the worst) walks in my lifetime. Sparky and I went up the hill nearby the pond, where I could take some new photos of Sparky... The moment I set up my camera on the tripod, things started going downhill. I had taken a step to the side of the camera, and I felt my feet slip into some mud in the grass. I was wearing sandals and I enjoyed the feel of the cool, wet mud oozing between my toes. I like to think I'm a real nature girl, so I don't mind mud, I think it's quite refreshing. But then... I suddenly noticed a strong smell... And realization came upon me... That I was actually not standing ankle deep in mud... But rather, poop. One GIANT dog poop. Poop in the cuffs of my jeans, poop stuck to the straps on my sandals, poop squished up between my toes. I may be a nature girl, and a dog girl, but let me tell you... Poop is not something I can easily handle. (And no, it was not one of Sparky's poops, this was way to big for Sparky!... But then again... We've just had Thanksgiving dinner here in Canada... I wonder how much Sparky ate?)

Now, we were about a 20 minute walk from home... So I started heading back, grossed out at the squishing noises coming from my feet. Just after starting back to our house, Sparky did a poop in someone's yard. I got out a doggie bag from my pocket, and leaned down to pick up Sparky's poop... And suddenly, a huge bus roared past about 3 feet away from us, Sparky jerked in the other direction (yanking my arm with his leash), my tripod fell to the ground, and the poop did not make it properly into my doggie bag. It got all over both outside and inside of the bag, and a bit on my tripod, too. Now, I had a very disgusting poop bag, and I had to hold it by the very tip so as not to get my hands all covered. There was not a single garbage can in sight the whole walk home. Then Sparky starting playing games, and ran around me so his leash kept on whacking the poop bag hanging from my fingers, which caused the bag to whack into my pants. And I got poop smudges from my knees to my hips. And on my hands. So for the 15 minute walk home, I had stinky poop from my hands, down my legs, all over my toes... And I was struggling under a heavy camera bag, a tripod that fell to the ground every few steps, Sparky was pulling hard to pee on every bush, and a disgusting poop bag was hanging from my fingertips and swinging wildly all over the place.
I received many stares from passerby... Cold stares, humorous stares, and pitiful stares. But no one dared to say anything when we made eye contact.
I've never had a nicer shower when I got home.

So, my friends, that is why I do not like poop.

I still don't think poop is really all that bad. It's only natural. Oh well, my human did manage to get a couple pictures of me before the poop disaster began!