Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Puppy Romance


My human Lizzy always lets me run and wander off leash at the park. I am a good boy, right? So this evening didn't make any difference. It was getting late - the sun was gone and dusk was upon us. The air was quiet, save for the few calls and tweets of the birds settling in their roosts, and the occasional scream of a nearby neighborhood child who did not want to be put to bed. A star or two was starting to appear in the darkening sky as the last red tints were drawn out from the clouds in the west.

Lizzy started fiddling with my leash in her hands - A sure sign she was getting ready to call me back to start heading home. I quickly trotted along the side of the pond, looking for a drink, and watching out for any sleeping ducks I might like to startle.

That's when I saw it. Them. Him. Her. A couple. Together. In love.

It was so beautiful! They were two young humans, perhaps in their late teens or early 20's, standing on the other side of the pond. They stood by a picnic table, were I could spot the remains of their take-out Chinese dinner. But the food wasn't what interested me this time... The couple, just dark silhouettes in the nearly black park now, had their arms around each other in a deep embrace, his head bent over hers, kissing the night away...

Let me tell you guys something: I am a dog of love. That also means I am a jealous dog. Guys, who doesn't want to shower humans in big loving slobbery smooches (especially when their breath smells like Chinese food)?? I can't just stand by and let two people get away with smooching without me. There was only one thing I could do...

That's when Lizzy started calling me. Uh oh. She knew what I was on to. I'd have to do this quick, before it's too late. So, I took off running in the opposite direction of my human, running fast towards the kissing couple, my tongue already lolling out of my mouth... Before the lovers had time to even turn around and notice me, I was already up on their picnic table, standing on my hind legs, one of my front paws on her shoulder, the other paw on his shoulder, sticking my head right between theirs, giving (and getting) two kisses at one time. I could hear Lizzy yelling my name in the background. It was truly wonderful. Wonderful, until the couple noticed there was a third tongue in their game. And that's when he started yelling.

I decided it was my time to leave, my job here was done. Well, almost... As I hopped down from the picnic table, I had a sudden urge to give the lovers a couple good ol' leg humps. And that's when I noticed my human Lizzy, suddenly red-faced and quiet, turn around and start walking out of the park as fast and silently as she could. Where is she going?! Without me??! I had better run to catch up with her. Goodbye, my dear lovers, may your future together be bright and not too lonely without me!

And so I ran after Lizzy out of the park, and together we walked home. Me silent with satisfaction, Lizzy silent with repulsive attitude.

But, my friends, what can I say? I can't help it that I am just a lovable romantic pup, striving to make the world a better and more loving place.

30 comments:

Buffy & Linda said...

Hahaha! This is genious! Nice job Sparky!

Love, Buffy & Linda

The Thundering Herd said...

Sparky - our hu-dad almost hurt himself laughing so hard at this.

Fred said...

Sparky, what can I say??? You did what any puppy lover would do! I love to have group hugs with Old Girl and Mr. Jason!
And I don't know why Old Girl is still laughing at this story...

Cheryl, Indiana, Shingo and Molly said...

Hey Sparky!!! Thanks for stopping by our bloggie! We always love new furiends!!

We most certainly can't leave out Canada Day!!!

Woofs and Kisses!
The Fiesty Three

Steve, Kat, & Wilbur said...

Oh, I am totally with you. Anytime my dad tries to give my mom a kiss, I have to get in the middle of it and give/get some of my own kisses. I also like to make sure I get in the middle anytime Steve is getting pet too. What can I say, I like to be in the middle of everything.

Kat

Southbaygirl said...

Sparky.....mom and I laughed that you gave them leg humps as a last goodbye! We bet Lizzy walked away red-faced.....poor Lizzy!!

Woof

Velcro

Maggie and Mitch said...

OMG, you made mom choak on her glass of iced tea, Sparky! You are too funny! We would have eaten their Chinese dindin and been very happy!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

Sugar the Golden Retriever said...

Woof! Woof! Oh! Sparky ... I'm a bit speechless. I am so so so so so happy to hear from you. It's been a long time. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

Lorenza said...

Sparky!
Your post made my day!
I can imagine the whole episode!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Kira The BeaWootiful said...

Wooos Saparky! what fun, too bad my Mom never lets me off leash... I think it was hilarious... BOL!
~husky kisses~
-Kira The BeaWootiful

Sonic said...

That was a sweet story, Sparky!

And btw, your humans must be hogging your computer as much as mine! Write more often!

Sonic

the 4 Bs said...

oh Sparky, we know those humans must have appreciated you helping them with their love. humans need to have dogs show them what real love is, right! it's just a shame that Lizzy didn't appreciate it - hee hee!!!!


woofs.

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

How could you resist Sparky? You know we see Romance Novel's in your future... Great Post..

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Becky said...

Your poor Mama! But that was a funny story! Happy 4th!

Dewey Dewster said...

ah Sparky....ya had my Mom 'n Gram droolin' right up til the part where ya were humpin' the lovie dovie couple....bet they decided not ta go ta the park ever again....

Dewey Dewster here....

Happy said...

haha we love you sparky! you're just as humanly than any other any dogs could be!

parlance said...

Oh, Sparky, you dogs are here to teach us humans to follow our dreams. I think next time I see young lovers and feel jealous and left out, I'll just go and join in too.

Bond said...

Hi Sparky,

I apologise for this request, but I am sick and needs help.

You can help by directing some of your traffic to my blog, and hopefully, one of your reader is able to help me.

Thanks a million,

Bond
goldenbond.blogspot.com

Teddy said...

Oh Sparky, you're such a romantic!! I'm sure you made the evening special for those human lovers (hee hee). Humping their legs would've been a nice touch (I like to hump my stuffies too!). Maybe you'll have to reenact the event in a video so we can see what happened.

Teddy

Amber and Nala said...

Oh Sparky...that is the best story I have heard in a while! What a romantic you are indeed! ;) BOL!

Kisses from me!

Nala

Agatha and Archie said...

HAHAHAHAHA you are a true romantic..hee hee hee hee Love A+A

Moco said...

You are one daring pup.

Cookie said...

Channy is laughing and laughing. I don't see what's so funny about this, though. It's purely logical that you would react in such a way. If Lizzy is so easily embarrassed, she probably shouldn't visit the dog park near my house. There, conga hump-a-thons are common!

Now Channy's on the floor . . . silly humans.

Grand Bisous!
Cookie

Maggie and Mitch said...

Happy birthday, Sparky! We hope you have a wonderful day with lots of treats and hugs!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

Asta said...

Spawky

I miss you
You awe a twooly lovable, womantic pup and do make the wowld a much bettew place
I saw that yestewday was youw biwfday, and I want to send you my belated wondewful wishes fow the happies Biwfday week evew!!!
I hope you and Lizzie had a gweat day wif lots of tweats and love
smoochie kisses
ASTa

Miley said...

You have been awarded at my blog http://curiouscavortingcavoodle-miley.blogspot.com/2010/08/award.html

Sharon said...

hahaha! Good job, Sparky!

<3 Sharon and Dobby

JackPDB said...

(sings) Hello-o-o-o, young lovers, whoever you are, I ho-o-ope your troubles are fe-e-e-ew...
- - - - - - -
Jack@PDB
dog beds and more

Paula said...

Nice! I only recently came across your blog, but have enjoyed this post and will be back to read more.

john milton said...

Thanks for stopping by our bloggie! We always love new furiends!!
Challenge coins