A Post from a Cat

Hello. I am smart. The stupid mutt doesn't know that I knew he has a blog. But I do know, because I have watched him when he thinks no one is watching. I know his e-mail. I know his password. I know everything. And, I know that he shouldn't be the only one allowed to have a blog.
The mutt is sleeping right now. He doesn't know where I am. Or what I am doing.
Let me introduce myself. I am White Cat. I am also known as Smudge Pudge. Fatso. Beluga. Fat Cat. Kitty Cow. Blubber Boy. Fatty. Chief Big Fat. Please only call me White Cat. I do not much like my nicknames.


I am the eldest of the animals that live with my people. I am also the smartest. And the wisest. I like to sleep in roads. I do not move when cars come. People have to get out of their cars and pick me up and carry me to the side of the road. Why do they do that? I do not like to be disturbed when I am sleeping on the road. Naughty people.
I like food. I eat cat food. I eat human food. I eat dog food. I eat the neighbor's cat food. I steal neighbor's dough nuts. Once I almost stole the neighbor's fish. But I got caught.
I am not afraid of dogs. If they chase me, I sit down. Dogs are too scared to come too close to me. Some do. I give them a new nose. A bloody new nose. If dogs do not bug me, I won't hurt them. If you blogging dogs don't bug me, I might be your friend.
Sparky is funny. He's dumb. Well, maybe not dumb for a dog. But a lot dumber than cats. I like to-

HEY! NO ONE PAY ATTENTION TO THE CAT. I don't know how he did it! How'd he get my password? How did he know I have a blog? This is horrible! He's gonna take over the whole thing! I need to-

Shove over mutt. I'm trying to blog here. Sorry 'bout that, everdog. Looks like the mutt woke up. As I was saying-

I AM NOT A MUTT! Wait, I am a mutt, but my name isn't mutt! I am Sparky! Do you hear that, Fatso?

Don't call me that. I do not like my nicknames. Dumb Dog.

I am not dumb! Someone, help me here! I've got to get rid of the cat! He's gonna-

Quiet down, mutt. Just go away. Let me finish my post. I have claws, you know. I can use them.

No! Don't use them! Okay, fine, finish your post, as long as you don't use your claws on me! But hurry up!

Fine. I won't use my claws. But before I finish, you have to apologize for calling me a fatso.

Only if you apologize for calling me mutt and dumb dog.

Fine. Sorry for calling you mutt and dumb dog. But that doesn't mean I will never call you mutt and dumb dog again.

Sorry for calling you Fatso. But if you are mean to me anymore, I'll still call you Fatso!

Okay, now let me finish my post. Um... I think that's all I had to say. I guess I'm finished. I'll be back, though. This is not that last you've heard from White Cat.

YES! He's gone! I have my blog to myself again! I hope he doesn't come back anytime soon. FATSO! Heh heh. Well, anyway, Ruby tagged me to to tell you what kind of vehicle I think I am. I have to think of what type of vehicle my personality most resembles. Well, I don't know much about cars, but if I were a car I think I would be a Jaguar! They're cool and speedy.


I don't have enough time to tag anyone to tell about what kind of car they would be. So, if you want to be tagged, you're tagged! Have a good weekend everydog!