So last week I was happily chewing on my long-dead and deflated pink piggy from the 4xBs, when all of a sudden I heard a scream! Okay, actually it wasn't so much of a scream, but more of a very annoyed and frustrated yell. I looked up, and the yell was coming from one of my humans, Lizzy's Mom. She pointed to the living room floor, where there lay a puddle of... well, cat barf. At least I think it was cat barf. I'm pretty sure it wasn't my own barf, 'cause I didn't feel the least bit guilty when human Mom started yelling about it. Just then my little human brother jumped up on the couch (probably to avoid stepping on the cat barf) and boy was he surprised to find even more cat barf all over the nice couch he just jumped up on! My good human Lizzy, knowing this would turn into a catastrophe if she didn't do something about cleaning it up soon, left to find human Dad and his trusty mini steam cleaner to do the job of ridding the couch of that awfully disgusting cat barf. So, all the humans left the living room in search of paper towels, Natures Miracle cleaning solution, and the mini steam cleaner.
I was left in the living room with no humans. Just me, my dead pink piggy, and the cat barf. I could hear the humans fumbling around the house and asking each other where the paper towels were. All of a sudden, I had an idea! It was the perfect idea! Wouldn't it be a wonderful surprise if the humans returned to the living room to find that the couch and floor had already been cleaned to a sparkling maximum? Heh heh, yes, I said sparkling maximum, spark, as in Sparky! Yup, I decided to clean the floor and couch all by myself before the humans returned to the barf scene. Boy, wouldn't the humans just love me when they found out what I did for them?
So, I decided to do the floor job first. That was the easy one. It took just a couple of slurps with my tongue before the the cat barf was gone, leaving the floor shining brightly with my clean, sparkling doggy drool.
Then I moved on to the couch. Man, the couch was gonna be a tough job! I looked at the backrest. It appeared that the cat barf had shot into it with such a forceful splat that it left little flying drops all over the backrest of the couch, and then it ran down towards the cushion seats and then even further down between the cushions and the backrest. Hmm, what had these cats been eating lately?
I started sucking all the moisture out of the couch with my nose and mouth, while thinking about how pleased the humans would be when they came back! But, just then, they did come back. I wasn't finished cleaning the couch yet, but apparently the humans found all the cleaning supplies they needed within just a few minutes of leaving the living room. So, I looked up from my work, and gave the humans my best sloppy and stained grin to let them know I had the job all under control.
That's when I was thrown outside, while all the humans said their words of "disgusting", "gross", and "eww".
Did I do anything wrong?